Were I to review this book, I would say it is riddled with inaccuracies and depicts a stereotypical Hollywood version of Scotland far-removed from reality. But then, it was written in 1991 by a seven-year-old (yours truly), which is already eighteen years ago now. The ultimate schoolboy error is that I was apparently incapable at age 7 of producing a vexillologically accurate reproduction of the Saltire. My incorrect version of the Scottish appears like the old Greek flag, a white cross extended across a blue field. (See the correct flag here).
In an arts-and-craftsy way, we had to produce end-papers for the books that replicated the marbling technique you see in many old books. Appropriately enough, one of the squibbles that emerged looked to seven-year-old me like the Loch Ness Monster, and was duly outlined in pen and given a tongue to stick out at the reader.
The frontispiece is a depiction of the Scottish arms.
A little Royal Banner of Scotland graces one of the inside pages.
The Vikings, apparently, discovered Scotland.
Scotland had a war with England. (That’s a Beefeater at left).
Scotland is owned by England because England stole the Stone of Scone. When I was a kid I thought the Stone of Scone was the coolest thing on God’s green Earth. The first time I saw it would’ve been the summer in between kindergarten and first grade, less than a year before I wrote this “book”, when it rested in the Coronation Chair in Westminster Abbey. My more recent trips to see the Stone of Scone have been to Edinburgh Castle after it was returned, with much pomp and ceremony, to its rightful home in 1996.
The Stone of Scone is the stone that Scottish kings and queens are crowned on. Judging by the stylized “M”, I’m guessing that this is supposed to be Mary, Queen of Scots.
North Scotland is called the Highlands.
There is a lion-dragon on the flag of Scotland. Wrong! Not only is it a lion, not a lion-dragon, but this is not the flag of Scotland, but rather the Royal Banner. Its use as a national flag used to be widespread, though the more correct use of the Saltire has grown. The Crown has instructed Lord Lyon King of Arms that, while strictly speaking only the Monarch may legitimately use this flag, its use by loyal subjects is not to be formally prosecuted.
In Scotland people do the Scottish jig. Constantly. Unceasingly. It’s very hard to keep up with them, to be honest.
Scottish people wear kilts. And play the bagpipes too, if the illustration is anything to go by.
In Scotland people like to fish. They do this by attaching their rowboat to a stick in the shore, fixing their pole, and having a nap.
In Scotland they believe that there is an animal called a Nessey (sic, Nessie). The Loch Ness Monster was also something I was very fond of when I was a young’un.
My idea was that the Loch Ness Monster had broken through a wall in some palace and was sticking its head through. Note the portrait of Queen Victoria beside the arched doorway in the gallery above the regal monogram.